The Autopsy of Mary-Jane
Warning: Sensitive Topics, Adult Themes
The Autopsy of Mary-Jane began as a documentary series meant to capture the transformation of Mary-Jane’s physical form. Mary-Jane had a very clear vision from a young age of how they wanted their adult body to be viewed, which they push completing currently. This vision is reminiscent of a Frankenstein doll, devoid of life and stitched up. The tattoos Mary-Jane is receiving to achieve this look are extremely symmetrical, meticulous, and minimalist, which is reflected within the images.
However, this project drastically changed in significance when they confided in me something extremely personal and disturbing, something that contributed a much deeper meaning. Mary-Jane is a necrophiliac. When I was initially told this fact, I had a similar reaction to what most people would imagine to be appropriate for such a situation: confusion, disgust, unrelatability, and a difficulty to envision the reality of this being the case. Despite this, I knew that Mary-Jane would never intentionally harm anyone, especially to fulfill a desire, which is why I moved past the interaction and continued working with them. Additionally, a fetish or paraphilia similar to this is not something a person chooses to attain, but rather an uncontrollable reaction to a condition of life.
Throughout the next few months, life took many sharp turns for both of us. As we grew closer, Mary-Jane began providing more information about their paraphilia. I learned about how they discovered their lust for the dead and their slow process towards self-acceptance. Mary-Jane was historically never someone who cowered from going against the grain in any aspect of their life. Apart of the gothic community, they often style their cyberloxs alongside their pvc or leather corsets and large platform boots, all of which is black or red. This is a community that is known for the celebration of alternative fetishes and interests. However, some viewed Mary-Jane’s interest in a negative light, and few condemned Mary-Jane completely. While this displays some level of hypocrisy due to the community’s values of acceptance towards alternative living, Mary-Jane continues to thrive within their community.
Soon enough, Mary-Jane and I became almost inseparable, heavily due to the imminent beginning of the school year, where I would travel halfway across the country and leave Mary-Jane back on the east coast. I became overwhelmingly confident in their character, and the fact that they would never non-consensually harm someone nor take anything too far to satisfy their desires. I allowed myself the opportunity to understand who Mary-Jane was as a person rather than letting this single fact consume their identity in my eyes.
This entire experience raised a question of morality that I was interested in addressing with this project:
If someone experiences feelings of desire for something that is universally agreed upon as impermissable, but no action is taken towards said feelings so that nobody is harmed nor unaware, are those feelings still morally incorrect or dangerous?
Though all morality questions are ultimately subjective, after spending many months with a necrophiliac not only as a client but as a close friend, I can confidently say that no, it is not morally incorrect nor dangerous to possess these sexual feelings. Action is the most important aspect of life. If it is understood and reinforced that those emotions are not acted upon, there will be zero negative impact to come from those emotions existing. This therefore does not condemn a person for having those desires, especially since these desires are uncontrollable.
Mary-Jane and Norah Mahoney do not condone pedophilia or bestiality in any form. This project and statement is not in support of desires of harm towards living beings that can face consequential emotional and mental damage from others’ paraphilia. This statement is simply for necrophilia, where the being is no longer living and always adult.
Interview with Mary-Jane
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My inspiration for creating this series was simply to be able to express my own thoughts and emotions towards a controversial subject that is prominent within my own life, particularly in a sexual nature, while being as comfortable and free as I possibly could be. I have come across little art discussing my interests in the ways that I identify with, negatively or positively. This project opened the anathematized door to visually represent an alternative view on the topic of necrophilia, impartial to the negative stigmas often surrounding it.
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Personally, this project embodies my journey towards self-love and peace. My love for the dead is not simply a physical attraction but additionally love for the person of said body being in their purest natural state. On a surface level this project represents how I feel about people in an alternatively intimate form. On a deeper level, I admire how the act of viewing a corpse reinforces the idea that nothing can be hidden; the body is as natural as a person can be. I could try to explain in further detail just as I have with dozens of people trying to understand, however, the images Norah and I have created together display those emotions and process better than any of my own words could. This project is a visual representation of the parts of myself that I cannot openly speak of, and how I feel I was always meant to be.
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I am interested in promoting acceptance, highlighting the beauty disguised in dark thoughts, and to essentially not fear your own mind. Stigmas surround alternative sexual acts and interests should be suppressed if no harm is being caused, especially when it comes to someone whom is not yourself. No one is “disturbed” and shameful when an interest is completely consensual. The body is not simply a vessel for others’ enjoyment and voyeuristic tendencies, but rather a resource that carries us and provides a chance to connect to your own soul within the body. Choosing to experience certain pains doesn’t universally translate to a negative. Those experiences can aid someone into feeling acceptance in themselves again.
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My tattoos are a means of “completing” my body. I’ve craved stitches all across my body since I was around 8 years old and the idea has consumed me ever since. The idea of traditional tattoos on my body is simply unappealing to me; stitches are objective. It holds meaning within the medical field, associated with cleanliness and transformation. My final form after receiving all planned tattoos is to be something similar to a Frankenstein doll. I will have achieved my final form, finally feeling completed after all of these years waiting.
I do almost everything in my life with symmetry in mind. Asymmetry gives me an uncomfortable feeling of incompleteness or inaccuracy. There are occasions where I will experience asymmetry within my appearance or daily life, and when this occurs it is typically something I have to mentally prepare myself for to follow through with the day. Within my perspective, symmetry is another form of neutrality, associated with minimalism. I’m very particular about the objects I own and how they are viewed. Everything I wear fits into my heavily curated minimalist gothic style. For example, all my leather cuffs come in pairs so that each hand may wear one to maintain balance.
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I chose Norah Mahoney to photograph this series not only because we had become close during an important and transformative era of my life relating to this topic, but because I truly admire their photography style. I knew that Norah would be the photographer to capture exactly what image and message I was aiming to portray. Communication was incredibly open throughout these shoots, allowing me to be able to discuss my theme and message in full transparency and having Norah understand and construct those ideas into visual pieces.
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After much internal conflict over these aspects of my sexual identity, I have come to this conclusion: as long as actions, impulses, and thoughts do not harm others in any non-consensual form, there is simply nothing wrong with living the way you are. Morality is subjective. Wishing to live in a way that is enjoyable and being able to thrive as your truest self is not morally wrong. Through personal exploration of my experiences in the world, I have found inner peace and acceptance of myself. That is all that matters to me in the end.
The more open about who you are to the world, the more people I have found to have been interested and accepting of my lifestyle. Not everyone is going to understand, and while many people condemn my interests or myself entirely, almost everyone gets a little curious to know more. Be open to teaching those people, because intolerance stems from lack of education.
